I got this message from a good friend:

Life is never about the people who act true in front of you....

It is always about the people who remain true behind your back.

Happy 30th Birthday to our Aussie Girl!!!!

witchie bitchy

Two girls were in the ladies room while we were brushing our teeth this afternoon. To best describe them – brat ojts from la salle. I get irritated when they’re around with all those pa sosyal English and kabastusan (they don’t know how to say excuse me or im sorry).

On my bratty mode, I imitated their expression, “ eeewww kadire”. I lost control but it felt good being bitchy sometime and it ended as a laughing moment for Mama Ca and France.

The next time I see them.. I hope they will be a bit courteous and not too loud girls mocking in the ladies room. These pasosyal bitches are really giving me chills.

Mama Ca's fave term (also from the brats) – “CHILL”

Falling apart

Some people cannot really tell how you are until they get a word from you. Sometimes when I am tired of things I divulge some points in my life. Though, many don’t understand but still I don’t give a damn.

This is one moment where I want to be all by myself and just let go. I wish somehow I was not who I am. I wish that somehow I can total say that I am free of all possible pain this world can incur me. A good girl like me don’t really deserve all these f*cking shit lapses. I believe I had gone through a lot of pain and very much tested by time. Now, the question still lingers, Why me? Why always me?

I am back to myself. I’m trying to kick this off my life for sometime now but it just keeps on haunting me. Leaving me weary and fragile again. I am starting to question myself again. Starting to ask God for why? When and how? All these leads me back to my old graveyard.

Shit happens. Just let it go. It’s really a cruel world out there. Some people you trust and love are the one who is bound to hurt you anyway. Take care of yourself. Look out for falling debris and pit-holes around you.

Many Firsts

For the 1st time, Dinah will be celebrating her bday without us by her side. How's it gonna be from Down-under? Happy Bday girlfriend!!!

*****
Done with our 1st session of UA Laser Hair Removal at Beverly Hills 6750. See you Jes sa next session.

*****
1st time that I got sooo bagot at work that we ended up heading to the South part of Manila. Ninja and I was on leave - sick -sickan. ahaha. And marking my 1st ever trip to Festival Mall.

*****
1st time in history that I can really say that I am broke. Damn. I need to fuel up my bank account soon.

*****

See that's my many FIRST from last week.

bloomed

This was forwarded to me by Dreddy. A really long but worth reading article.

A wonderful relationship should start with friendship. One should marry someone who respects, loves and accepts you for who you are. Some people get blinded by different reasons that's why they stay in a relationship that really doesnt make them happy. After long years of searching, now, I am engaged to the man I love and loves me. My best friend, my companion, my Ninja. Let the flowers bloom. There's no rushing into falling in love or getting hitched. Take time to smell the flowers, just like we did. =)

Read this. a must!

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.

How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other? The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long- time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality. This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.

One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformation we choose to make.

Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.

It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.

There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom... endlessly.

Proud to be Pinay!!!!

click image to enlarge.

this article was forwarded to me via email. Thanks to the writer for the appreciation of Filipino talent and for the publisher of course.