This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something fromhere... Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
marriage & relationship.
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large mansitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In allseriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing onyour mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY *relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with yourspouse / partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their *idiosyncrasies* (unconventional behavior/habit) .
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to *DO* anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening *TO YOU*.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imageryof that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing,and then something came along and happened *TO YOU*.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the *euphoria* (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of *EVERY *relationship. Slowly but surely , phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's *idiosyncrasies* , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stagewhen you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the rightperson?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the *euphoria* of the love youonce had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This iswhen marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness andlook outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the mostobvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does *NOT* lie outside your marriage. It lieswithin it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. Youcould.
And *TEMPORARILY* you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a fewyears later. *Because* (listen carefully to this): *
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; T'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.*
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll *NEVER*justhappen to you. You can't 'find' *LASTING* love. You have to 'make' it day in andday out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes *WISDOM*. You have to know *WHAT TO DO* to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is *NOT *a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship *WILL*make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make' love. Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . *Not*just a feeling.
Remember this always:
'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you letwalk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
*** Thanks Sis Madz of w@w for sharing this
marriage & relationship.
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large mansitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In allseriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'
Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing onyour mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY *relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with yourspouse / partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their *idiosyncrasies* (unconventional behavior/habit) .
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to *DO* anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening *TO YOU*.
People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imageryof that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing,and then something came along and happened *TO YOU*.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the *euphoria* (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of *EVERY *relationship. Slowly but surely , phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's *idiosyncrasies* , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stagewhen you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the rightperson?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the *euphoria* of the love youonce had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This iswhen marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness andlook outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the mostobvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does *NOT* lie outside your marriage. It lieswithin it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. Youcould.
And *TEMPORARILY* you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a fewyears later. *Because* (listen carefully to this): *
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; T'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.*
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll *NEVER*justhappen to you. You can't 'find' *LASTING* love. You have to 'make' it day in andday out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes *WISDOM*. You have to know *WHAT TO DO* to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is *NOT *a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship *WILL*make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make' love. Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . *Not*just a feeling.
Remember this always:
'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you letwalk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
*** Thanks Sis Madz of w@w for sharing this
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